He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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