I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize