I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize