She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
