You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
