I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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