honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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