i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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