Swine flu. Run for my life!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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