Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
