Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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