she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize