got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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