Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
