ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
