Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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