He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize