if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
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Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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