I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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