I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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