I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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