Need sex. Gaining weight.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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