DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So. Much. Porn.
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