i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
