so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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