just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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