i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
