Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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