Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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