My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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