so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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