wat bout pragnant strippers??
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
