I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Fuck appropriateness.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
