the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
