just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
