oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
