I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
