is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize