Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

he quoted the bible to break up with me

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(305): View more from Florida

Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"

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(205): View more from Alabama

My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.

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(817): View more from Texas

I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good

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