Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
