This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
