sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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