He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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