There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
