My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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