It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
