The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i barfeds in our rink
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
