is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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