you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
