There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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