How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
