dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
