So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
