I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
