i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
