Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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