What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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