DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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