i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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