:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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