so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
