chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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