Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
