the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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