Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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