it's too hot outside to masturbate.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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