I wanna passion pit in your ass
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
