i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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