You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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