I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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