Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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